Thursday, July 10, 2008

Afraid of the dark?

As many of you know I live in a home, in the woods, in the middle of nowhere...I must admit that over the last however many months I have done a fantastic job of staying there at night all alone. In fact I usually do not even give it a second thought.

This might not seem like a big deal to most, but I have a history of basically having panic attacks if I am anywhere alone after dark. There have been times that I have called people in the middle of the night and I was certain that there was someone in my home. There have been quite a few times when I found out that I was going to be home alone unexpectedly and I would immediately make arrangements to stay somewhere else. There was even a time that I was afraid to go from my parents house to my house to pack a bag when it was after dark.

My survival under the current circumstances are dependant upon the fact that I have developed a method to keep the madness at bay. This includes always having a nightlight or leaving a light on in the staircase and falling asleep with the TV on...I have found that distractions work and over time I have become more relaxed.

WELL...last night I was hanging out with my parents - after a run, dinner, and a trip to feed the fish - dad drove me home and right as we are pulling up in the driveway he asks "don't you ever get afraid of staying in that big house all alone?" I told him that surprisingly enough - I don't anymore.

Then as the big diesel approaches the garage he mentions something to me about how I really should have some sort of protection while staying there alone...

As I told him goodnight and got out of the truck, I proudly made a statement from the sidewalk to further ensue that I can handle it with just Bailee and me.

I turn and start walking up the sidewalk towards the front door and dad yells from the truck "Don't let Freddy get you!!!"

Of course immediately after that I felt my chest tighten up a little and was sort of freaked out when walking in the front door, but once I got inside and turned on a couple lights - I was fine. I can't say that I am no loner afraid of the dark - I definitely have my moments - I hate walking to and from my car to any building at night, and I have to be careful about what I am watching before I go to sleep (Ex: Psychic Kids on A&E is a WAY-WAY BAD CALL!!!), but for the most part I have found ways to keep the paralyzing fear away.

My question to you is - is this normal? I would assume so, but I fee like it is one of those things you are embarrassed to admit, but once you do - you find that you are not alone :)


SarahC said...

I HATE being alone too. When Matt has to go anywhere out of town and I am all alone, my mind starts racing and thinking about bad/scarey movies. But then I just remember I have a large yellow monster downstairs waiting to eat anyone that gets in the house. I keep my phone next my head and a light on too. I freak out because I know I have two of us to protect. No one better ever touch my bubba! I hear its good to sleep with your car keys next to you so you can hit the panic button. I think you should purchase a yellow monster. No worries Watts! Tell your Dad to be nice or Freddy is comin to get him!

Michael B said...

I'm SO afraid of the dark! Lately I've been having nightmares every night (FUN!), and so it takes me a good half hour to relax in the dark. And, when Josh is out of town, I HAVE to sleep with the TV on or lots of lights.

Just watched a bit about the psychic kids---YIIIIKES! NOT a good show to watch before bed!

You're so not alone on this....Hugs to you,


Kelly A said...

Phew....That was me letting out a HUGE sigh of relief!!! You are SO not alone. I feel better just knowing I'm not alone ;)

John is CONSTANTLY making fun of me for being afraid of the dark. Some days I am fine and it doesn't bother me and some days not.

I think it is TOTALLY normal!! :)

Here's to talking about it and not being embarrassed!!!

Amanda said...

I'm with you. When I'm home alone my imagination can definitly run wild. You are definitly NOT along! Have a great weekend!