Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The struggle...

First of all, I had the BEST lunch buddies today because mom and Aliyah came down to meet me at work...

I was so hungry and ready to start chewing on my arm when I called mom around 1245pm to see where they were. Mom said she really had no idea how long it took to get two people ready to go anymore...poor thing - clearly, she has been out of practice for a while AND usually when we have Aliyah, we are able to tag team on getting the peanut ready to roll.

I had hoped that they would get to Ashburn a little earlier than 130pm (haha!) so I could take a longer lunch than usual and run around with them for a bit, but seeing as how it was already 230pm when we were wrapping up lunch, I had to head directly back to the office *BUMMER*

Aliyah took this of mom and I - not too bad :)

So on to the "struggle". As they were dropping me back off at work, I got out of the car and walked around to Aliyah's door to tell her bye and give hugs/kisses. She was intensely watching "The Grinch" and sort of tilted her head towards me so I could give her a little kiss as if I was bothering her.

The little ham LOVES my car key; it sort of flips out like a swtichblade...she was digging through my purse for toys

About a split second later she pulled her head back and looked up at me with *big sad eyes and a pout* and said "you're going on an air-pane?" (I found out a few minutes earlier that mom had explained to her that I was going somewhere) I responded by telling her that "yes, I have to go on an airplane for work, but I'll be back later this week and I'll be around for the fun things this weekend!" Then she said "you're going to miss Corey's birfday?" By this time my heart is MELTING - I confirm to her that I would miss the birthday party tonight...

A little spaghetti goes a long way :) PS - note the bib...to console her pride, I also wore one today!

Right about then she laid her little head over on my shoulder and I just about lost it people. I felt tears welling up in my eyes for crying out loud. At that moment and every other time that I leave her - I just don't want to! My struggle is the feeling that I am somehow missing out on something / anything that is going to happen or not happen in her precious life when I am not there.

I can only imagine what parents go through as their children grow, become more independent, and eventually go out into the world on their own. I feel like I get a very small taste of this every time that Aliyah and I part.

To get her to eat, mom started helping...the spoon had so much food on it! Look at her expression!!!

It really is so bittersweet.

You are very proud of them for the little person that they are and proud of the person they are turning into, but at the same time - you want everything to stop and for time to stand perfectly still...is I had one wish today, it would be to never miss a single moment of her life :)


Amanda said...

Oh, you summed it up in your last paragraph so well. Its so true! I think the same abouy my niece how I can't wait to see her grow up and in another, I want her to stay 3 years old.

BTW, Ailya took a good picture of you and your mom!

Melissa said...

aww ame that is so sweet. your blog makes me remember what it's like to be a real family again that doesn't all live hundreds/thousands of miles apart. thanks for keepin' it real!

The Sweet Family said...

You are such a wonderful Aunt and would also be a remarkable mother.

Your family is so special and I am so glad that you share your milestone moments with everyone!

Have a safe trip and remember, when you get back, give Peanut extra-special attention!


The Sweet Family said...

OMG, I just noticed you ate at Red Robin! I LOVE Red Robin.

HMMM, maybe I will one day next week when I start my new job since it will be soooo close! Another good thing with my job; near a MALL . . . WHOO Benefits!!!

Melis B said...

OMG Your mom is beautiful and SO young looking. I can't believe she's a grandma!! WOW. Good for her.

Have a great weekend Amy!!

Michael B said...

I love the picture of Aliyah being fed. Hilarious!

And, the picture of you and your mom is definitely a keeper.

Love your posts, as always.